The gifts are all locked up inside, yet their spirits are so strong that they just keep on going. And yet there are all these other people on the planet who have none of the gifts that are apparent. All they have to do is believe in themselves and in the gifts they’re wasting. That really bothers me, knowing that these people got everything they needed to succeed. Beating themselves up in some psychological way. I look around and see people hurting themselves for no reason. He showed us how to have faith and belief and inner strength and to never give up. Eventually, he taught me that was not necessary. I would envision different scenarios in which I would become violent reacting to people’s reactions to my children-especially to my severely handicapped child. I was always looking for someone to criticize my son in my presence. One thing that has come out of having children with cerebral palsy is strength. Sometimes the exceptional is classified as abnormal and pushed aside. Our education system basically strives for normal-which is too bad. But really time seems to be going faster because we’re cramming so much into it. Most people think it’s the other way around: that time is going faster and we’re doing less. Back to the forest, to the wheat fields, to the river, to the ocean. I rejected the whole thing and found peace in paganism. I was just peaceful, because I thought: This is not fruitful for me. But I just kept getting angrier and angrier. But as time went by, I got more and more angry, to the point where I didn’t like religion. I couldn’t wait to get out of Sunday school. ![]() I was reading a lot about God, but I was bored. When I was six, I really didn’t know what God was. You have to be totally yourself to box.Įpilepsy taught me that we’re not in control of ourselves. If you beat the hell out of a bag or go against a competitor, you and your reflexes will be so at one that you won’t have time to think about anything else. You either look through one eye or you look through the other. People say, “Wow! How could you do that?” And you say, “How could I not do that?” It’s not your turn.”Ĭourage is a mindless thing. Fog was on the bridge outside the room, and I said, “Well, that’s just beautiful.” And she said: “Yes, it is.” She turned toward me with this eighty-five-year-old face that didn’t have a line on it, no strain, nothing, and she said: “So the master’s not taking you. I woke up one morning at a quarter to six and looked out the window. I felt that this old woman must be deeply religious, but there was nothing forceful about her. ![]() She never talked down to her, just gave examples. This young nurse wasn’t really in touch with what she was doing, and the old lady would tell her how to do what she needed to do without telling her. She was about eighty-five years old and maybe five feet tall. I was recovering from complications after an operation to remove an aneurism in my brain. The wisest person I ever met had to be my companion in the hospital a few months ago. The sound of a harmonica hits you directly. Yes, there was something good that came out of having polio as a kid. Sometimes when it happens, you wonder if you’re gonna be okay. ![]() Your inhalations are big-more air than you ever thought there is starts pouring in. Every breath is like you’re at the North Pole. You can find every story we've ever published at Esquire Classic.Ī best moment in music? Sometimes when I’m playing my guitar, I get to a point where it gets very cold and icy inside me. This article originally appeared in the January 2006 issue of Esquire. Neil Young at the The Bridge School Benefit in Mountain View, California, October 30, 2005.
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